Guinea Pigs Don't Talk Read online

Mrs. Flowers went on with class.

  Angel spent the rest of science class looking at her lunchbag. When the bell rang, she didn't get up. The other students hurried around the room getting ready to leave.

  Joe grabbed his lunchbox. "You coming?" he called to Angel.

  "No."

  "Okay. I'll save you a seat," he said.

  Lisa and Traci stayed in the coatroom as the other children left.

  "What do you think Bruiser's doing?" Lisa asked.

  "Sleeping," Traci answered. "The lunchbag quit moving about ten minutes ago. How long was he in there?"

  "About an hour."

  "That means he ate for fifty minutes. Guinea-pig heaven!" Traci said.

  Lisa laughed. "I can't wait to see Angel's face when she opens it."

  When the last person had left the room, Angel approached her lunchbag. Lisa and Traci peered around the corner.

  Slowly, carefully, Angel unhooked the Velcro and opened the bag only a few inches. She peeked inside.

  "Oh no," she mumbled.

  She gently tilted the lunchbag sideways.

  "Where is it?" she muttered.

  "What's she looking for?" Lisa whispered to Traci.

  Traci lifted her shoulders to say "I don't know."

  "Bruiser, I hate to bother you," Angel said. "But I've got to find it."

  She opened the lunchbag the rest of the way.

  When she did, Bruiser opened his eyes. He stretched his legs and yawned. On his lips was a little dot of white cream.

  Angel gasped when she saw it. "That better not be what I think it is," she said.

  She lifted him out of the lunchbag.

  "Aha! There's the paper," she said. Then she moaned. "It's empty!"

  She looked at Bruiser.

  "It wasn't your fault," she said, rubbing him between the eyes. "You like them as much as I do."

  Angel gently placed Bruiser back in his cage. She walked back to her lunchbag, grabbed it, and dumped the contents into the trash can. Then she stormed out of the room.

  "What was she so upset about?" Lisa asked.

  "I don't know, but the answer is in that trash can." Traci was already on her way across the room.

  When she reached the trash can, she hesitated a moment. She made a face. With the tips of two fingers, she pulled out the shredded wrapper from a Yummy Tummy Cream Cake.

  "Angel had a Yummy Tummy Cream Cake!" Lisa said, inspecting the mauled wrapper.

  "I can't believe it. Angel Peterson's mother actually bought her a Yummy Tummy Cream Cake," Traci said, shaking her head.

  "And Bruiser ate it!" Lisa said. "That's why Angel was so upset."

  Traci smiled. "Bruiser does have a sweet tooth."

  ***

  In the cafeteria, Angel stomped over to where Lisa and Traci were eating.

  "He ate my Yummy Tummy Cream Cake!" she blurted out.

  "Sooooooooo?" Lisa said.

  "So," Angel said through gritted teeth. "My mother thinks sugar is the worse thing ever invented. She hardly ever lets me have Yummy Tummy Cream Cakes. I made my bed every day for a week to get that."

  Lisa felt bad, but she didn't back down. "Well, my mother thinks sugar is okay," she said. "She lets me have Yummy Tummy Cream Cakes whenever I want."

  Angel exploded. "That's it. You have gone too far. Your days are numbered. Boy, am I going to get you. Just you wait."

  "Give it a rest," Traci said.

  "My Yummy Tummy Cream Cake is gone, and it's all because of her." Angel jabbed a finger at Lisa.

  "Hey, you started it," Lisa said. "You're the one who's yearnin' for a burnin'."

  Angel's face turned red. The truth made her mad. She made her face as mean as possible. Her mouth was a tight thin line. Her eyes were squinted. Her forehead was wrinkled.

  "If looks could kill..." Lisa said calmly, staring back at Angel.

  Angel turned her back on Lisa and stormed to the table where Joe was sitting. She sat down beside him.

  "I saved you a place," he said cheerfully.

  She ignored him.

  "I want revenge," she demanded. "And I want it today."

  Joe looked interested. "What kind of revenge?"

  Angel smiled. "Guinea-pig revenge."

  5

  Talking Dogs

  After lunch, Mrs. Flowers announced, "Those of you working on the science project come to the science table and finish."

  "That's me," Traci said. She left for the front of the room.

  "The rest of you read silently," Mrs. Flowers said.

  Lisa got out her book and opened to the title page.

  "Hey,"Joe whispered to Lisa. "Did you know that Squeaky can talk?"

  Lisa turned around and looked Joe straight in the eye. "I might be new in this school," she said. "But there are a few things I do know. Guinea pigs do not talk!"

  "Squeaky does," Joe said without blinking. He sounded sincere.

  "I'll believe it when I hear it," Lisa replied. She turned back in her seat. She didn't want to get into trouble.

  "Ask him what his name is," Joe whispered.

  So that's the trick, Lisa thought. You ask the guinea pig his name, and he squeaks out two syllables that sound like "Kwwwwwwwwwwweeeeee keeeeeeee."

  Lisa had seen that on TV. People would claim their dog could talk. When they got on TV they would say, "BoBo, what does sandpaper feel like?"

  "Ruff, ruff."

  "BoBo, what kind of day have you had?"

  "Ruff, ruff."

  And if BoBo had real talent they would ask, "Are you thirsty?"

  BoBo would yawn and growl at the same time. It sounded like "I wan wa wa."

  This did not fool Lisa. Squeaky couldn't talk any more than those dogs could.

  Lisa glanced to the back of the room. The

  guinea pigs' cages stood on a table in front of the coatroom, next to the bookshelf.

  Lisa tried to concentrate on her reading, but one thought kept returning—Squeaky. Of course he couldn't actually talk. She was sure of that. But maybe he could squeak his name. It wouldn't be so unusual. After all, dogs got on TV with less talent.

  Lisa stood up and walked past Joe to the back of the room.

  "Speak clearly so Squeaky can understand you," Joe whispered, snickering.

  Lisa ignored Joe. She didn't trust him. He was almost as bad as Angel.

  Lisa looked at the books on the bookshelf. Squeaky was on the table to her right. She watched him out of the corner of her eye. He was nibbling on some lettuce.

  Lisa looked over her shoulder. Mrs. Flowers was busy grading papers. Now was her chance. She slipped quietly over to Squeaky's cage. She peered in.

  "What's your name?" she asked softly.

  Squeaky looked up from his lettuce. He stared at her, but said nothing. Maybe he hadn't heard her.

  "What's your name?" she asked a little louder.

  "Lisa."

  She jumped.

  "Lisa."

  It was Mrs. Flowers.

  "We only play with the animals during recess or free time."

  "Yes ma'am," Lisa said softly.

  Everyone in the class turned around and stared at her. Lisa could feel her neck turn red, then her face. She walked slowly down the aisle, and slumped into her desk. She held her book up in front of her face. She silently vowed not to do anything embarrassing for the rest of her life.

  As she gazed at the open book a note fell over her shoulder and landed in her lap. Lisa stared at the note, but she didn't touch it. The note from Angel had caused big trouble. This one might too.

  Lisa tried to ignore the note. It was probably from Joe. He did sit behind her.

  Lisa knew exactly what she should do. She should pick the note up and throw it right back over her shoulder. She should do that—but she didn't.

  6

  Squeaky Talks

  Lisa read the note.

  Take this to hear

  Squeaky talk.

  There was a little arrow pointing to a pin
k candy taped to the paper. Lisa turned around.

  "I know a SweetTart when I see one," she said to Joe. "See, it even has an S on it." She pointed to the S.

  Joe leaned forward. He looked Lisa straight in the eye. "This one is special," he whispered. "Trust me."

  "I don't take candy from strangers," Lisa said. "And you are pretty strange." She crumpled the paper into a ball and tossed it on Joe's desk.

  Lisa turned away. She tried to concentrate on her book, but she couldn't stop thinking about Squeaky. She was sure he couldn't talk. But it would be fun to hear him squeak his name, like the TV dogs.

  Lisa made a decision. She would talk to Squeaky one more time, so she could hear his name. Only this time it would be during recess, when no one was around. That way, there would be no chance for embarrassment.

  Lisa waited patiently. When the bell rang, she leaned over to Traci. "You go on ahead and save me a swing. I'll be out in a minute."

  When the last person had left the room, Lisa made her way back to the guinea pigs' table. Squeaky was eating. She stooped down so that her face was close to his. He stopped chewing, and stared at her. His small black eyes were not piercing, but friendly.

  Lisa looked at him long and hard. There was no doubt about it. He was a regular guinea pig. He said nothing.

  Lisa waited.

  Still nothing.

  She reached in the cage and scratched his head. He purred, but did not talk.

  "What's your name?" Lisa asked.

  She waited for that familiar high-pitched guinea-pig squeak.

  Silence.

  Lisa took a deep breath.

  "What is your name?" she asked louder.

  In a voice as clear as hers he answered, "My name is Squeaky. What's yours?"

  7

  Achin' for a Breakin'

  Lisa jumped away from the cage. She stared at Squeaky. He stared back.

  "I said, what's your name?" Squeaky asked. There was no squeak in his voice. He spoke as clearly as any person Lisa had heard.

  "Uh ... uh ... Lisa," she said.

  As soon as she said the words, she regretted answering. She felt silly talking to a guinea pig. She quickly looked over her shoulder to see if anyone had come into the room. She was relieved to find she was still alone.

  "This is crazy," she said out loud. "Guinea pigs do not talk."

  "I do," Squeaky responded.

  Lisa was silent. She looked under the table. No one was hiding underneath. She looked behind her. The room was empty.

  "This lettuce they brung me is wilted," he said.

  "There's no such word as brung," she said, studying him.

  He looked soft and innocent.

  "Hey! Will you bring me some new lettuce or not?" He sounded impatient.

  Lisa hesitated a moment and then said softly, "Okay."

  She turned and hurried to the door. She stopped and looked back. Squeaky was nibbling on his lettuce again. He looked so ... normal. Lisa shook her head as she left. This was crazy. Guinea pigs did not talk!

  When Lisa got to the playground, Joe was standing next to the door, as though he had been waiting for her. She ignored him.

  "Want a push?" Traci called from the swings.

  "Sure," Lisa said. She climbed onto an empty swing.

  Traci pushed and Lisa pumped her legs in and out. She pumped harder and harder. Squeaky was

  on her mind. It didn't seem possible that he could talk, and yet she had heard him with her own ears.

  She pumped her swing higher.

  It wasn't a squeaky sound either. It was a regular voice. It even sounded familiar.

  She pumped higher.

  She should have looked closer at his lips to see if they were moving.

  Higher.

  "If you get any higher, you might go over the top," Traci yelled.

  Lisa looked down and realized how hard she had been swinging. She extended her legs to slow down. Traci stepped back to watch.

  Lisa looked at Traci and decided to ask her about Squeaky. Traci had been in the room all year. She would know if he could talk. Lisa tried to think of the best way to ask the question.

  She could say...

  "Does Squeaky talk?"

  No, that was too direct. It should sound more casual. Like...

  "Just this morning Squeaky said to me..."

  No, that didn't sound right either. Maybe it should be less personal.

  "You know those guinea pigs on the table? Well, I thought I heard one of them say..."

  No, no, no. Nothing sounded right. Every way she asked the question she sounded dumb. Traci wouldn't want to be friends with someone dumb, and Lisa didn't want to lose the only friend she had.

  Lisa swung forward and jumped off her swing. Both feet landed solidly on the ground.

  "Perfect landing," Traci said.

  "Thanks."

  "So, what were you doing in the classroom?" Traci asked.

  Lisa studied Traci. After only two days, Traci had become her best friend. It was time for the truth. Lisa took a deep breath.

  "Talking to Squeaky," she said.

  Traci's eyes narrowed. "Did he talk back?"

  Lisa hesitated a moment, then said, "Yes, he did."

  "That makes me soooooooo mad," Traci said.

  Lisa looked confused. "Squeakv's talking makes you mad?"

  "No," Traci said. "Angel and Joe make me mad. Making Squeaky talk is one of their tricks. Angel stands in the coatroom, behind the guinea pigs' table. She talks for Squeaky."

  "That explains it," Lisa said. "I knew that voice sounded familiar. Those two are achin' for a breakin'. And tomorrow's the day!"

  Traci's face brightened. "What do you have in mind?"

  "Tomorrow we'll carry out my plan for double revenge."

  "Double revenge?" Traci said.

  Lisa stepped closer. "Angel and Joe get to school pretty early in the morning, don't they?"

  "Joe's father brings him on the way to work, so he's the first one here."

  "Perfect," Lisa said. "What about Angel?"

  "She rides the early bus, so she's usually early too."

  "Good," Lisa said. "We'll need to get here before either of them, so we can set up."

  "This sounds interesting," Traci said.

  "It's more than interesting. It's perfect," Lisa said. "If they think Squeaky talked today, just wait until they hear him tomorrow!"

  8

  Testing 1, 2, 3

  The next morning Lisa and Traci stood in front of the guinea pigs' table.

  "Have you got everything?" Traci asked.

  "It's all right here," Lisa said, patting her bookbag.

  The janitor poked his head into the classroom. "What are you girls doing here so early?"

  Lisa and Traci jumped.

  "The early bus isn't even here yet," he growled.

  Lisa clutched her bookbag and answered truthfully. "We're working on a project."

  Traci nodded. She held her breath as he studied them. Then he left.

  "Whew," Lisa said. "That was close."

  Traci nodded. "Let's hurry. We only have a few minutes before Joe gets here."

  Lisa was already unzipping her bookbag. She pulled out a ball of wire. A small speaker was attached to one end of the wire. A microphone was attached to the other end.

  "When you talk into the microphone," Lisa explained, "your voice travels down the wire, and comes out the speaker."

  "I've never seen a speaker that small," Traci said. "Where did you get it?"

  "My father's hobby is electronics," Lisa said. "He has lots of stuff like this."

  She handed Traci the speaker.

  "Tape this behind Squeaky's cage," she instructed. "And be sure to tape it so that no one will see it."

  Traci carefully taped the speaker behind the cage, and then ran the wire down the table leg to the floor. She continued around the edge of the room, unwinding the wire as she went. Lisa followed behind her, taping the wire into place.
/>   When they got to the front of the room Lisa said, "We need to test the speaker."

  Lisa switched on the microphone while Traci hurried back to the guinea pigs' table.

  "Ready?" Lisa called.

  Traci nodded. "Ready!"

  Lisa held the microphone close to her mouth. In a high-pitched, squeaky voice she said, "This is Squeaky, the talking guinea pig. Testing one, two, three."

  The sound was loud and clear from Squeaky's cage.

  "Perfect," Traci giggled. She hurried back to the front of the room.

  "Now, where should we hide?" Lisa asked.

  They both looked at the only good hiding place—under Mrs. Flowers's desk.

  "Do you think we should?" Traci asked.

  "It's the only place," Lisa responded. "Besides, Mrs. Flowers will never know. We'll be done by the time she gets here."

  Traci hesitated. "Mrs. Flowers is nice, but I don't know how she would feel about us hiding under her desk."

  "That's true," Lisa said. "But I'm willing to take a chance."

  Traci smiled. "Me too. Hurry. Joe will be here any minute."

  They crawled under Mrs. Flowers's desk.

  No sooner had they gotten into position than Joe walked in. He was whistling. He headed straight for the coatroom.

  "Wait until he comes out," Traci whispered.

  Lisa nodded. She held the microphone tightly.

  Joe strolled out of the coatroom, past the guinea pigs' table.

  "Thanks for the help yesterday," he said with a quick salute toward Squeaky.

  Lisa moved the microphone close to her lips. In the high-pitched squeaky voice she answered, "You're welcome."

  Joe stopped. He took a small step forward.

  "Squeaky?" he said. "Is that you?"

  Squeaky tilted his white head up, while Joe stared at the cage.

  "That's right, Joe. It's me, Squeaky."

  Joe gasped and threw his hand over his heart.

  9

  The Almost Perfect Plan

  "No way!"Joe yelled.

  He turned and ran into the coatroom. He looked at the wall where Angel stood when she did Squeaky's voice. No one was there. He raced back into the classroom. It was empty.